How to find God in the midst of the busy mum life
Are you a mum with little ones, feeling like life is passing you by - and like you just don’t know how to find God in the midst of what you are doing?
Moving from being a self-functioning, independent and left-alone-sometimes adult to being a mother can be a really, really hard transition.
But even if this isn’t hard enough, often we feel like the times we need God most (because who is not feeling like that in early parenthood?) is when we suddenly have no time to seek Him as we were used to, and not really enough motivation or willpower to ‘make time’, either. This can leave you feeling like you are ‘failing’ in your relationship with Him, and also like you are more alone than you were used to, in a season when you really, really need a God who cares.
Because He does - He didn’t change one little bit. He’s right there. But how do we feel His presence, and that depth of connection like we did before the kids? And what if you have never had that connection - is now a good time to be finding this out, or should you wait for a ‘more suitable’ time, when you have actual time in the first place?
I learnt a lot going through the same season, and in this post I’ll be sharing some simple strategies that help me find my God in the everyday - and also build that regular, deeper relationship with Him even in the busy mama life.
How to Find god in the midst of the Busy mum life
It’s all about the heart attitude.
Finding the right ‘heart attitude’ is a major, major part of working out how to find God in your new, or not-so-new, life as a mum. There are three overarching ways to ‘view’ your relationship with God when you’re overwhelmed and busy:
Frustrated at yourself - wishing you would just ‘get organised’ or motivated, and essentially being negative towards yourself and thinking you aren’t making a good enough ‘effort’. (This was me.)
Frustrated at those around you - essentially blaming all those around you for the fact that you can’t get that time and deep relationship with God like you used to. This build resentment, which is even less helpful, and ends up in emotional distress, stress and often outbursts.
As a come-when-it-can relationship, with small, consistent ‘touch points’ with God during the day, or when you think of Him - and being OK with that, for this mum season. He isn’t upset!
It’s all about having some self compassion.
Hey, mama. Give yourself some grace! You are keeping tiny humans (however many you have!) alive, well fed, loved and nurtured. That, is a full time job - or more. It’s OK that some things, regardless of whether they are spiritual practices or not, need to take a backseat for a bit, at least in the physical. I mean, many women don’t even get to wash their hair often enough when they have small children, right? It’s going to be OK.
Something worth adding here is that, in my opinion anyway, God isn’t sitting up in heaven, spending His time looking with anger and disdain upon all the mums working their hearts out for their families. I mean, really? He is not up there judging you, so why are you judging yourself so harshly?
Thank Him for today, say a prayer with the kids, and that literally might be all the ‘God’ stuff you remember to do today. If you love Him, He knows. Just send him a little prayer or even think that you’re sharing a giggle with Him over the fact your child just poo-painted their bedroom (if that’s something you can laugh at!!!)
It’s going to be OK, Mama. God has seen a few Mamas who are busy. It’s not a surprise to Him that you feel like this.
How to find God in this season? It’s all about being still.
When you’re looking for that depth of relationship that you may have previously had with God, remember that it probably won’t be 30 minutes per day, journaling or breathwork prayer. It’s going to be small snippets of time, in all likelihood - and you will be probably interrupted to the point of frustration, often!
I don’t need to tell you that motherhood is a busy, busy season. In fact, it’s absolutely ridiculous. I describe it to my husband as being like I’m on one of those lazy susans we use on the table, literally being ‘hit’ and spun around, constantly - in my case, for the last 11 years. That is literally what it has felt like - which is why I talk, write and coach on mum guilt, mum burnout and motherhood stress relief - and have lived this up and down for many years.
So, my strategy to encounter God (that has actually worked!) has included intentional stillness.
Not sitting and watching Netflix, although I obviously do that (actually Britbox is my favourite, click here to find out about streaming Midsomer or my favourite show of all time, As Time Goes By with Judi Dench), but actually bringing in real stillness.
Getting up just ten minutes early to sit on the deck and watch the sun come up.
Do some breathwork if you can - even with the kids!
Giving the kids a treat - lollypop or natural icypoles - and TV, and then sitting in the next room (or the same room) with headphones on, doing some stretches and listening to gentle music.
Having a cup of tea in the sunshine while the kids play in the sandpit.
All of these things have helped at some point through my parenting journey, and considering my youngest is only 5, they are still very much needed, often!
If you need to find out how to find God in this busy mum season, I hope these ideas have helped you. But most of all, what we all need to remember is that God, is God.
We aren’t perfect - but He is. And He’s already sorted this out, this relationship thing. Jesus already died, He already rose, and we are with God forever. This is a small moment in time, even though it feels like a really, really, really long time at this moment.
Love on your kids, partner and yourself - and just include God in your thoughts through the day.
Have a beautiful day!
Love and Peace,
Miranda