3 Limiting Self Beliefs Every good Mum needs to know about

Do you find yourself being controlled by limiting self beliefs as a mum?

Many of us don’t even realise that they exist for us, or that these limiting self beliefs have such power in our lives, until we start to deep dive with a coach - or really get committed and activated in terms of our personal development.

As a mum, we can be holding onto many limiting self beliefs, which means we feel that these beliefs are true - whether or not they aren’t - and they impact our lives and those of our children because how we act, affects them.

This post will share 3 of the most common limiting self beliefs mums can hold without even knowing it - and with a little opportunity at the end to start busting those beliefs so you can have more freedom, less emotional overwhelm.

This post contains affiliate links, which means I may get a small commission if clicked on.

Limiting Self Belief #1: Feeling like you’re not good enough

This belief can be deeply, deeply ingrained in our thinking, whether we are mums or not. Many people have an innate worry that they are not good enough for their career, family, or even successes they have already had! It’s called imposter syndrome, and it’s out there in the world all around us.

Have you ever said ‘Yes, that went well, but it would never have worked without my co-worker doing most of it’, or ‘I was just so lucky the kids liked that Playgroup activity I ran - that was a fluke. It’s definitely not my skill set.’

While you may feel these are true - and there may be some grains of truth in them - many people use these comments to deflect praise they don’t feel they deserve - or that someone else deserves it more.

Or, you might feel like you can’t volunteer to help at kinder because you don’t know what to say to certain kids - or even stay in the background when you really want to speak up at church or your sporting club, because you don’t feel like your voice is worth hearing, and no-one wants to hear your opinion, anyway.

This is almost always because you struggle to accept the feeling that you are worthy of value, just by being you.

This can often relate directly back to childhood expectations and how our parents interacted with us as kids. Many of us are constantly trying to impress the world - and because we learnt early on that this requires ignoring your own needs and putting everyone else first to get that ‘attention bucket’ filled… it outworks in the form of not letting yourself be who you are - because you don’t feel you deserve it.

Some deflect the praise to others, because they want others to have some credit - but many just can’t take the risk of feeling that warm glow of self-appreciation on the inside - it’s just too foreign.

It’s OK to allow yourself to feel. To allow yourself to stop and be appreciative. Saying ‘thank you’ and feeling actually thankful and happy/proud - this is something we can all get better at!

>>Use the 28 Day Self Discovery Journal to help build gratitude and discover yourself again!<<

Limiting Self Belief #2: Feeling like you have to be constantly busy to be a ‘good mum’

Busyness is one of the single biggest defining aspect of every mum’s life. However, this limiting self belief is one that can trip us up - simply because being busy is often needed in our lives.

Who else is doing the laundry, making the dinner, or buying the birthday presents, if not us?
Who is drying our kids’ tears, making sure everyone is eating a healthy breakfast, or ensuring that gorgeous pirate outfit is all ready to go for dressup day?

Busyness is often needed - but you don’t have to be constantly busy, to be a good mum.

In fact, often we feel like a ‘better’ parent when we have more time to spend with our children - and time to mentally appreciate and enjoy that time.

It’s OK to be busy - but be aware of how you make yourself busier when you could, in fact, take that time to be still, or listen, or lay on the ground and play doctors with your child for 20 minutes.

The housework and all those things you need to do, will always be there in some form.

Your kids won’t. So, while we do need to do the things, we also need to make sure we’re not just ‘stuck’ in the ‘busy gear’ and missing out on life.

You could, also, get a robovac. Just sayin’.

Limiting Self Belief #3: Your child is ‘missing out’ because of you.

Many women feel like they are failing their child. You might feel like you are not giving your child enough attention, or that because your financial situation means you can’t afford everything they want, you are a failure as a parent.

Much of our crazy society is geared towards ‘keeping up’ with the latest trends, fashions, and this isn’t just in the clothing sense. Many of us want our children to have the latest and greatest, whether these are Playstations, fidgets or a pair of Jordan’s basketball shoes…which to be honest, are awesome.

Let’s remember - children have grown up happy, for generations, without having everything they wanted.

In fact, those who did get everything they wanted were called ‘spoiled’, once upon a time.

While this word often has bad-behaviour connotations attached, when it comes to being spoiled in terms of belongings and experiences, many mums are literally frantically trying to keep up with kids’ class members, friends, and family - and wearing themselves out mentally and emotionally (and financially!) as a result.

This often stems from the limiting self belief that your child is ‘missing out’ because you have failed in providing the things they need. Well - sometimes they don’t actually need it. Sometimes they actually need to wait, watch, and build resilience in order to learn how to manage their emotions, expectations - and of course, money, time and mental wellbeing, in the future!

In fact, you aren’t failing. You aren’t damaging your child if you don’t buy them everything they want.

It’s more detrimental to give them everything, then they burn themselves out financially when they are older - or feel like even more of a failure than you do.

It’s not helping them, at the end of the day. #realtalk

Listen how to help your child with finances in The Barefoot Investor Families on Audible

A major fallout Symptom of these type of limiting self beliefs, is Horrific mum guilt.

Mum guilt is that awful guilt we can feel when we just don’t measure up to where we think we should - or where we think society or family thinks we should. This mum guilt can be crushing, and soul-sucking in terms of mental and emotional energy and wellbeing. If you want to find out more about managing mum guilt, my short Kindle ebook is linked on my Books and Resources page, called Stop Mum Guilt: How to Stop it Running your Mental Health - including a free workbook to help you deep-dive your guilty feelings and start to become aware of your inner limiting beliefs, as you go.

If you have felt like one of these limiting Self beliefs really resonates with you, take a look at how you might counteract it.

Where does it come from?

How has this actually controlled your thinking without you realising it?

The way to start busting limiting self beliefs involves becoming aware, identifying where they are actually true, and start to detangle them one by one. Which one will you work on first?